tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26982337208483361062023-11-16T07:18:34.692-08:00She Flies with Her Own Wings.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-86833469685567303372022-11-23T13:53:00.003-08:002022-11-23T13:53:53.069-08:00 To Nicole, on Her 10th Birthday - November 23, 2022<p>There are only two people in this world who melt me when I
look at them.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My daughter Nicole Rosabella is one of them.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe it’s her dimpled cheeks when she smiles. Or her starry
eyes. Or the inquisitive old soul she has. Then again, it could be what I know
about Nicole that isn’t readily apparent to others. Like how kind,
tender-hearted, and compassionate she is. How she knows what to say to a friend
who’s been hurt or make them feel special. How she asks questions or makes
remarks that grab me and makes me think, “Wow, that’s really wise.” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Clearly, there are many qualities that I admire and love
about my girl. But if I had to pick a favorite, it would be her profound
inquisitive nature to ask questions. Profound, curious, interesting questions. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It doesn’t take much to make Nicole happy. It really is the
simple things – like playing a board game, back scratches, a dance party or
riding her bike that really makes her smile. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I want her to keep that light. I want her confidence and
self-esteem to last for years to come. Where Nicole is now, the sweet spot
before adolescence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I think about
what typically happens to girls in adolescence – I want to hug my baby tight,
reaffirm who she is, and point her to the truth.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Nicole:</b> <i>these are 10 things I want you to remember.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0px;"></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>It's</b></span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> okay to grow up at your own pace.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
It’s good to take your time and do what’s right for you. I’ve always told you;
your job is to be a kid! Our world pushes girls to the fast track. It wants you
to paint your face with makeup, dress in revealing clothes, and aim to look 20
when you’re really 13. I hope you trust your instincts and remember that the
best part of your appearance – the one that ultimately sets you apart – is the
light that shines from within. It costs nothing, yet it’s worth everything.<br /><br /></span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Being a leader sometimes means standing
alone.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> It means making a brave choice nobody else is making, like sticking
up for the kid being teased, or avoiding a party where there’s sure to be
trouble. It means, never following other’s choices, but choose for yourself.<br /><br /></span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Nothing ruins a friendship faster than
jealousy and competition.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> When you’re jealous of a friend or secretly
trying to one-up her. Remember that what’s good for your friend is good for you
as well because you’re both on the same team.<br /><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Feeling different is completely normal.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
We all feel different because we are different. You are one of a kind, there is
only ONE of you! Rather than wish to be like everyone else, look for ways in
which you can make your gifts and talents shine bright.<br /><br /></span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Every choice has a consequence, and the
choices you make today impact the opportunities you’ll have tomorrow.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> While
making positive choices (like working hard in school) will open doors down the
road, making negative choices (like lying, cheating, stealing) will close
doors. Whatever choices you make, be prepared to live with them.<br /><br /></span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Be kind to everyone but remember not everyone
needs to be your friend.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> Trust your instincts when you feel like its time to
stop being friends with someone. Friends will come and go, and it’s okay to let
go if they are making unwise choices.<br /><br /></span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The best way to build confidence is to challenge
yourself </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">and accomplish a goal outside your comfort zone that forces you to
stretch, grow, and master new skills. Don’t give up if you don’t conquer it at
first. Keep trying, the best things in life are not easy.<br /><br /></span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Be a good sister.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Be a good role model. She is watching your
every move. Be someone she can count on to always have her back, be there for
her when she needs to cry, scream, and laugh, encourage her, and above all tell
her what she means you and tell her you love her often. Remember she is your
number one bestie in the entire world.<br /><br /></span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Be a good listener</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">in all of life.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
You will learn new things by listening, watching, and observing. You don’t always
have to have an answer, most times you won’t, just listen.<br /><br /></span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Tomorrow
is a new day. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Growing up is hard.
People are not always nice, and sometimes your big feelings will seem too big.
Remember, tomorrow is a brand-new day to start over, to learn, to change, and
to make it better. You will also have amazing days, filled with laughter, joy,
and incredible memories.</span></li></ol><p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p>
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<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p>
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<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Most of all, Nicole Rosabella, I hope you always remember
how unconditionally loved you are. Know that I’m always here. Whatever is
waiting on the other side of 10, we’ll discover it together. We’ll celebrate,
cry, and share in all the emotions that evolve as a you grow up.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Happy 10th birthday, my baby love, and thank you for your
light. You’re a joy to know and a joy to raise, a sweet blessing in my life for
which I’m so very, very grateful. I love you, Momma.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-46090771034047620412013-03-27T21:33:00.002-07:002013-03-27T21:33:51.687-07:00The Last Four Months
The last four months have been a
whirlwind of experiences, firsts, extreme emotions and a daily
reminder of what I was meant to do with my life.
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The last four months, I have learned to
function on very little sleep, waking up at odd hours to care for a
little life that requires more than a half an eyelid open.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have learned to enjoy cold food,
quick showers, air dried hair, sitting in one spot for hours whilst
watching little eyes flutter and a little mouth phantom suck.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In the past four months I have watched
my husband with our baby girl, I see how much he loves her, how he
adores her, tends to her, doesn't complain when she needs a diaper
change, or when I need a nap, or when I want a few hours out to shop
or hang out with my girlfriends. Its been difficult at times, but
over the past four months I have fallen more in love with him.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have learned that I am “that”
parent that has to buy everything for her little girl. If I think it
will enrich her life, teach her new things, keep her quite for even a
short period of time, I buy it.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The past four months have made me
question my own childhood. A mothers love is unshakable. Undeniable.
Unbreakable. Forever. I am certain that my mother loved me.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I've realized that when I am shopping
and baby girl is at home with daddy, I am fiercely jealous of the
soon to be moms, or moms with their kids in tow. When I am shopping
with baby girl, I feel sorry for all the other parents, because I've
been blessed with the best kid in the world.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In the last four months I have noticed
that I miss my family more than I ever have in my life.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have found that I am quick to get
frustrated with my husband, but baby girl can instantly calm me.</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have found that the weight I put on
during the past nine months is a lot harder to lose than I thought it
would be. I need to remember, I cooked up a human life, and it will
take time to get back to where I was.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
During the past four months, I live for
the evenings when its bedtime for baby girl. Its just me and her in a
dimmed room, eyes locked, secrets told, heart beats synced we are one
once again, even if just for a few minutes.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In the past four months I have cried
more than I have in the past four years.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have come to realize that nothing is
as important as my family is. My husband and baby girl, are my world.
Life is nothing without them.
</div>
<br />
<br />
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-49981664844450381582013-03-03T09:46:00.001-08:002013-03-03T09:46:07.807-08:00Motherhood
Its been sometime since I've blogged,
but to be fair I have been a bit busy. This new life is starting to
find its pace in our household and while I still haven't returned to
work, some normalcy is starting to creep in.
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have been so overwhelmed the past few
months its been crazy. Overwhelmed in the good sense, not the “ I
don't have any idea what I am doing” sense. Its strange how being a
mother has come so natural and easy to me. Especially since I didn't
have a mom until I was 15 years old. I don't have the young memories
of me and my mom playing, baking, shopping, strolling thru the park.
I grew up not ever knowing what I missed. As I look at my little
girl, I am reminded that not only did I miss out, but my mom also
missed out, and unfortunately its too late – shes gone now.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
There were moments during my pregnancy
that I got really angry that she was gone, and that I didn't get to
ask certain questions. Questions like: did you have morning sickness,
how far along were you when you first felt me move, what was your
delivery like, did you have strange cravings? These questions will
always remain unanswered. Now I'm just sad that she doesn’t get to
know my daughter, because she's pretty great.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Its is a relief to know that baby girl
won't know any difference, because the woman I now call mom, Nicole
will call G-Momma, and that makes me happy.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Baby girl has brought out some
emotions/feelings that I never knew existed inside of me, some good,
some bad. The good being that this little bundle has my made my heart
grow 10 times the size it was before, I never get bored just watching
her sleep, play, learn and cry. I absolutely LOVE changing poopie
diapers, because whats the alternative? No poopie diapers, means no
baby girl. I live for those nasty little packages! Some feelings that
are a little less desired, is the intense fear I feel all day long.
The fear of something happening to my little family that will change
it forever. I don't want my daughter to feel lost, empty, angry, or
sad. But I also don't want to live in fear and I need to learn to let
go of it. I still don't believe she is still mine, and at times I
wait for the dream to be over and to wake up and be back in my real
life. The bad feelings are really bad. The good news, is that they
are just feelings and will fade in time. She IS real, and she is ALL
mine!</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Today marks Nicole's 100 day birthday.
Its sunny here in Seattle, so I am going to go for a walk around
Greenlake and relish in the simple joy of being with my husband and
my sweet daughter.
</div>
<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-44277461731914445552012-05-01T22:26:00.000-07:002012-05-01T22:27:12.456-07:00First comes Love, then comes Marriage, then COMES…..<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;">Norman and I are going to have a BABY!!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can’t even begin to express how excited we were when we found out. We had just returned from Scotland and for some reason, I just knew it. I didn’t have any symptoms as of yet, but I could just feel it. I took 3 home pregnancy tests to verify, all if which came back positive. We stood in the bathroom holding each other crying. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of course Norman didn’t want to get too excited until the doctor confirmed it, which happened a week later. Then Mr. “it’s not official until the doctor says so” went straight to the store and started buying unisex baby clothes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. Not having kids was never an option, but I wanted to do it with a partner. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About 6 years I got the word “Blessed tattooed on my left wrist. People think it’s just a word, or a feeling but it’s a song from one of my favorite artists, Elton John. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Blessed</span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Hey you, you're a child in my head<br />You haven't walked yet<br />Your first words have yet to be said<br />But I swear you'll be blessed<br /><br />I know you're still just a dream<br />your eyes might be green<br />Or the bluest that I've ever seen<br />Anyway you'll be blessed<br /><br />And you, you'll be blessed<br />You'll have the best</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I promise you that<br />I'll pick a star from the sky<br /><br />Pull your name from a hat<br />I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that<br />You'll be blessed <br /><br />I need you before I'm too old<br />To have and to hold<br />To walk with you and watch you grow<br />And know that you're blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would sing this song when I was a teenager, dreaming of the day I would become a mom, and I’m so excited that day has finally come. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, friends and family here is to my journey, which has hit a few bumps so far, but I am looking forward to the upcoming months of changes and the arrival of our little bundle of joy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today we are at 10 weeks along and our predicted due date is November 25, 2012. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have started to keep a simple log of Q&A which I will share from week to week or at milestones that will give a insight to how things are going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like to remind everyone that I am not someone who likes to fluff things up, or make something sound like something it’s not. These are my true feelings, and while at sometimes may be harsh, it’s how I’m feeling at the time. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am reminded of a friend of my parents who had a baby, whom never smiled, screamed all the time and just was not a pleasant baby for the first few months. They nicknamed her a “little ball of hate”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has since become the cutest, sweetest/kindest little girl you’ll ever meet. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I could never<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>imagine I loving someone so much as already love this baby, but … I think I have a “little ball of hate” growing inside of me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br /></div>
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<b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">April 2, 2012</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How far along? </span></b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">6 weeks</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Total weight gain:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> I’m down 2 pounds from when I first found I was pregnant – Strange. Who knew getting pregnant was the latest diet fad?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Maternity clothes?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not yet. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Stretch marks?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not any new ones ;)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sleep: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve been sleeping like a baby – no pun intended. I go to bed around 9:30 and am up around 7:30 – 8. Occasionally I have to get up during the night to go potty.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Best moment this week:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Getting my first ultrasound and finding out I am 6 weeks pregnant. Only 34 weeks to go!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Miss Anything? </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For some strange reason, I started missing beer. I haven’t drank a beer in over 2 years, but I saw a Budweiser commercial the other night, and started craving it!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Movement: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nothing yet.<b></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Food cravings:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> I bought a mango at the grocery store yesterday – I’ve never really liked fruit before – hopefully I will continue to crave fruit.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Anything making you queasy or sick:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> We drove by KFC the other day and I immediately started gagging. The smell of fried chicken stayed with me for at least an hour afterwards.<b></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Gender: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not yet</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Labor Signs: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No signs yet</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Symptoms: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">From time to time a get a slight headache, queasiness, and sore boobs, slight stretching/bloated pains in my stomach. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Belly Button in or out?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In. </span></span><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Wedding rings on or off?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On.</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happy or Moody most of the time: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happy. There have been some mood swings, but nothing to severe to make my husband look at me like he doesn’t know who I am …..yet!<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Looking forward to: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Telling the whole world that I am going to be a Mommy, and of course the journey to getting there. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">April 9, 2012</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How far along? </span></b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">7 weeks</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Total weight gain:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Strange how one week you’re down, then next you’re up. Gained 2 lbs</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Maternity clothes?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not yet. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Stretch marks?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not any new ones ;)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sleep: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I can’t get enough of it. I could sleep 20 hours a day if left alone. I am sluggish, can’t imagine doing the simplest tasks as even showering. This little bundle of joy is sucking the life out of me. I just keep telling myself, “this too will pass”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Best moment this week:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Finding out 2 other friends of mine are also with child! I can’t wait to walk this journey with them.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Miss Anything? </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Missing beer went away as fast as it came. I miss my energy. It was SO sunny this weekend, and it was everything I could do to drag myself to sit in the sun for an hour. Then went back to the couch and watched my husband run after me. Man I love him!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Movement: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nothing yet.<b></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Food cravings:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Popsicles. If I didn’t get a popsicle in my hand, I was going to cause some serious damage. Today, I have been craving yoghurt, which is strange because I don’t like the stuff.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Anything making you queasy or sick:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> POPCORN! I was at work when a co-worker made some for us, and I went running for the bathroom. I didn’t make it! Enough said!<b></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Gender: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not yet</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Labor Signs: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No signs yet</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Symptoms: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">major bloating, dizziness when I stand up too fast, morning sickness that happens throughout the day and other bathroom nastiness. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Belly Button in or out?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In. </span></span><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Wedding rings on or off?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Happy or Moody most of the time: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Happy for the most part but, I did get a little depressed this weekend. It was very warm and sunny out, and I wanted to do some gardening, and playing in the sun. But I was so exhausted that I would have rather died than get up and walk around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Looking forward to: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Getting my get up and go back. I hear from other mom’s that the fatigue lasts only the first trimester so I’m hopeful I will get some energy soon. Also, we have our second doctor’s appt. this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"></span><b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">April 21, 2012</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How far along? </span></b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">9 weeks</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Total weight gain:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> I’m down 6 pounds from when I first found I was pregnant – Severe morning sickness has not been good to me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Maternity clothes?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not yet. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Stretch marks?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not any new ones ;)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sleep: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sleep has been<b> </b>interrupted a lot by stomach pains, waking up to strong smells, (dog farts) lots of tossing and turning and frequent trips to the bathroom.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Best moment this week:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Finally feeling a little better from the morning sickness.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Miss Anything? </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Food. I haven’t been able to eat anything for 2 weeks. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">L</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Movement: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nothing yet.<b></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Food cravings:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Nothing! I haven’t eaten in a really long time.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Anything making you queasy or sick:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Everything! I was diagnosed with Hypermesis which is a severe condition of morning sickness. The only way I don’t get sick, is if I don’t eat or drink anything which of course isn’t good for me. <b></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Gender: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not yet</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Labor Signs: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No signs yet</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Symptoms: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Just morning sickness so far. Hopefully it will end soon.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Belly Button in or out?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In. </span></span><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Wedding rings on or off?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Happy or Moody most of the time: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I had to spend the night in the hospital this week, as I was severely dehydrated and have lost a lot of weight. The past 2 weeks have been really hard and I’ve had a lot of depression, because I have been sick so much. I just want to feel better.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Looking forward to: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Not wanting to die, and to<b> </b>start to enjoy this pregnancy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">April 29, 2012</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How far along? </span></b><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">10 weeks</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Total weight gain:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still haven’t gained any additional weight, I’m down 4 pounds from when I first found I was pregnant <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but up 3lbs from last week so it’s getting better . </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Maternity clothes?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> I bought a Bella Band – now I can lie around with my pants un-buttoned!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Stretch marks?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Not any new ones ;)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sleep: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sleep has been sporadic. I’m hoping the stomach growing pains go away. There are also a couple insane birds outside my bedroom window who like to chirp ALL NIGHT LONG! I’ve seriously thought about buying a beebee gun. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Best moment this week:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Drinking a coffee, oh how I missed it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Miss Anything? </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m still missing food in general. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Movement: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nothing yet.<b></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Food cravings:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> MUFFINS! For a week or so, all I wanted to eat were muffins. All kinds.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Anything making you queasy or sick:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> If I can smell it, I will get sick!. I have found that I can eat anything as long as its smell-less… so you can imagine that leaves a whole lot of nothing! <b>Gender: </b> Not yet</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Labor Signs: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No signs yet. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Symptoms: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lots<b> </b>of cramping. Doctor says it’s normal.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Belly Button in or out?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In. </span></span><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Wedding rings on or off?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Happy or Moody most of the time: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Pretty Moody. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">L</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Too bad for my husband. I haven’t been able to enjoy much of this pregnancy yet. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Looking forward to: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Going somewhere and not having to scope out the closest bathroom. That and getting thru grocery shopping without have to hover over a stinky bum bathroom stall. There is nothing worse than getting sick in a public bathroom. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-62096950583182799602012-01-18T15:09:00.000-08:002012-01-18T15:43:56.379-08:00In Dog I Trust!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">About eight years ago I called on an ad for a Rottweiler puppy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without meeting her or even seeing a photo I spent a lot of money on a spur of the moment birthday present for myself. There are things in life if you could do over knowing what you know now, you’d do different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I knew then, what I know now, I would pay thousands if not millions for that little puppy again and again. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nikoya has not only become the best friend anyone could ask for, she is loyal, funny, entertaining, and is one of the smartest dogs I have EVER encountered. I constantly get praised for training her, but in all honesty – It’s all her. I’m no dog trainer, whisperer, expert – I’m just her dog mom. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She makes me look good.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yesterday we got news that she has diabetes and while this instantly brought tears to my eyes thinking about not having her in my life anymore, I’ve come to see that dogs/cats can live with diabetes just as humans do for the rest of their lives. With the right food combinations, exercise and medication she shouldn’t have to worry about it. I on the other hand will and am very thankful that for now, nothing else is wrong that can’t be treated. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yesterday I stopped feeding her store bought treats and made her some good for her health nummy nummies! Depending on the next few weeks, I may even start making her dinner every night. Because to me she’s worth every extra cent I may have to spend on her.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDbEYCjf4VBvg5_jhMysof7ChcuXXBAWEl9GAG7JTkWM8QOZYPCAh-dAcco9CxEG4bhgZC-b5k7NVLOFcO1xjqDvIjWIr8cEKClOzgepp8IfIOpLrMnKodJE4KLGYHHmGNQ2tw-NEylW0_/s1600/24361_10150161959160187_838260186_11910103_8171880_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" nfa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDbEYCjf4VBvg5_jhMysof7ChcuXXBAWEl9GAG7JTkWM8QOZYPCAh-dAcco9CxEG4bhgZC-b5k7NVLOFcO1xjqDvIjWIr8cEKClOzgepp8IfIOpLrMnKodJE4KLGYHHmGNQ2tw-NEylW0_/s400/24361_10150161959160187_838260186_11910103_8171880_n.jpg" width="334" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjODLjbY1xmn9naf0-YpZboG3qNy-AuDTwFZMaxbVrbwzIEzpCDephJqhwBvlEhxsbTxuPdRUrS0EZexAtrmmuwMCzwRhFDgFnJbGsGP3kMYl7HKzLXpwT3plGUVswDaNM_TjgI7XfKaK9Z/s1600/163925_10150364715245187_838260186_16625077_5240310_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" nfa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjODLjbY1xmn9naf0-YpZboG3qNy-AuDTwFZMaxbVrbwzIEzpCDephJqhwBvlEhxsbTxuPdRUrS0EZexAtrmmuwMCzwRhFDgFnJbGsGP3kMYl7HKzLXpwT3plGUVswDaNM_TjgI7XfKaK9Z/s400/163925_10150364715245187_838260186_16625077_5240310_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This dog is my heart and she melts it every times she looks at with her curious non judgmental eyes. </span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-3818789126671384092012-01-13T13:01:00.000-08:002012-01-13T14:10:34.077-08:00Just Do It!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few weeks ago I had a wild idea that I wanted to try cross country skiing so I asked around to see what I could expect and was bombarded with a ton of negative responses. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I couldn’t walk for days afterwards”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Sounds like a miserable activity and I hate being cold”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Thanks, but NO thanks!”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I could go on and on, on the responses I got, but fortunately I am the kind of gal who needs to figure things out for herself. So, I went home and asked my husband – (it’s still weird to say husband) how he felt about trying it out. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Side note: The past 3 months of being married, has had its challenges. As we are still learning how to live with each other, figure out who we are together as well as individually, and while we struggle at some things more than others, I am very blessed to know I have found someone who is adventurous as I am and to be open to trying something new without giving much thought to it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I researched some ski rental places and found a place that had 3 day rentals for 16 bucks each. How could we not try it for 16 bucks? 16 BUCKS! Come on now people… anything is worth trying for 16 bucks! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And so we did. Norman and I drove to Snoqualmie Pass – where I have spent a lot of time at my friend Erin’s cabin over the years. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We started out at the road and skied to the cabin. We were a little shaky at first, but as time went on we got better. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I must say, Cross Country Skiing is a BLAST! Now I know I haven’t tried downhill skiing or snowboarding, but as a snow coinsure I must say this was a lot of fun. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I encourage all ya’ll to get up and try it, and if it’s not XC Skiing, and it’s something else your interested in GO do it! Don’t listen to the naysayers, it just may not of been for them. And who knows, it may not be for you either, but how will you know if you don’t TRY IT yourself!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s my two cents!</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAMuAGMy3h62zqKg6zHsCkKj5MUkr6bIzDve0NkqfmCmvjhTLP_7cgbsPWpKZsMMFpAphdMVGtZ5795_yNOD-uGjpfcEWpXdR21Vf0U8sRnnLOsjTS5Hxtb41ILIrMrm8OlrJDnqBL2xiM/s1600/DSCN2539.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" kba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAMuAGMy3h62zqKg6zHsCkKj5MUkr6bIzDve0NkqfmCmvjhTLP_7cgbsPWpKZsMMFpAphdMVGtZ5795_yNOD-uGjpfcEWpXdR21Vf0U8sRnnLOsjTS5Hxtb41ILIrMrm8OlrJDnqBL2xiM/s320/DSCN2539.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-49089737814849763092011-11-16T13:26:00.000-08:002011-11-16T13:26:42.365-08:00Finding the space between ms and mrs.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="note" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 9pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am a ms turned mrs, dedicated to the process of reconciling her ms-ness with her mrs-dome thereby ensuring each week she does some: good eating, great lovin, new livin, a bit of travelin, some spirit building, and a healthy dose of whatever makes me happy…</span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAL59TiGIkdjI6_ihzgr-FOwHs4Ng6B5QJrg-fkNuiFjYfSgPOE8nZjGWsI77tcfT4TRO2XrbxCTQ1jMDLjdSklgdAZkJHUnFrbiqcJWBPbnelYOoB_pS3hBqy1MvxIxISITYn9s0R_4T5/s1600/384073_10150428799442437_180167547436_10180435_1706403172_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="212px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAL59TiGIkdjI6_ihzgr-FOwHs4Ng6B5QJrg-fkNuiFjYfSgPOE8nZjGWsI77tcfT4TRO2XrbxCTQ1jMDLjdSklgdAZkJHUnFrbiqcJWBPbnelYOoB_pS3hBqy1MvxIxISITYn9s0R_4T5/s320/384073_10150428799442437_180167547436_10180435_1706403172_n.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-40971684572131130732011-11-08T13:11:00.000-08:002011-11-08T13:11:19.284-08:00No More Goodbyes!Its official! I never have to say goodbye to Norman again. We are MARRIED! It’s a strange feeling, not the married part, but the I don’t even have to say goodbye to him again part. Our relationship has been full of hellos and goodbyes. <br />
<br />
I think in 4 months time, I might need a mini alone vacation. But for now, married life has been good to us, and I’m excited to see what the future brings for both of us. <br />
<br />
<br />
Stay tuned... I will be blogging more often.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-45234344431787035322011-04-30T16:01:00.000-07:002011-04-30T16:01:33.080-07:00Perspective<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Perspective</span>: a way of regarding situations, facts, etc, and judging their realative importance.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I’ve been giving this word a lot of thought the past few weeks and I think I am in need of some serious “<em>perspective”. </em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">How does one make the right decisions, choices if there isn’t something to compare it to? How do you decide what fork to take in the road if there isn’t a map, telling you what lies ahead? When I was younger, I was often asked “what’s your plan”?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can you make your plan if you don’t know what it is? Do you let life unfold and go along for the ride, or do you steer it in the direction you want it to go?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can see pros and cons to both. I also know that life is precious and very short. Death has become a family member, one that I know very well. And while he/she is not welcome, it doesn’t keep them from taking up the seats at the dinner table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you live life until your chair has been taken, like a game of musical chairs? Or do you notice that there is only one chair left, and decide to go find another because you refuse to be out of the game?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I used to know what my plan was, or more less where I wanted my life to go, but I’m not so sure anymore. I do know that I’m not ready to stop playing, but I need some new game pieces. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">On a separate note, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, my garden is growing delicious herbs and vegetables, my two cats are playing in the yard, and my dog is at my feet. At this moment, I am right where I want to be. </span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-28841788787100806812011-04-14T19:35:00.000-07:002011-04-14T19:35:00.193-07:00rollercoaster.There’s Ups.<br />
There’s Downs.<br />
There’s all a rounds.<br />
There’s times when you want to yell,<br />
And others when you want to hide in a shell.<br />
When you’re at the very top,<br />
Your heart just wants to drop.<br />
And the best thing to do is go with the flow<br />
When you’re very very low.<br />
Holding on.<br />
Not letting go,<br />
Even when things get super slow.<br />
And when the ride comes to a complete stop.<br />
You wish you were back at the top.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-3182284374756786782011-04-03T15:56:00.000-07:002011-04-03T15:56:39.617-07:00Traditional Food<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYTNlb6RJ7Q70VMmysBDzaY6_gO6vGWL3aE2y8m2Fu24EvoqKwHfr25ssGLcOiEhhleTo1vxhx_8Zhf8oVLlutMk3plZ637buCoMe7xz4ZJ22_nj-5j3FJkL4SrCXKjp6sF1qjiGWrb0NX/s1600/DSCN1828.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYTNlb6RJ7Q70VMmysBDzaY6_gO6vGWL3aE2y8m2Fu24EvoqKwHfr25ssGLcOiEhhleTo1vxhx_8Zhf8oVLlutMk3plZ637buCoMe7xz4ZJ22_nj-5j3FJkL4SrCXKjp6sF1qjiGWrb0NX/s320/DSCN1828.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I recently visited Scotland and had the opportunity to try some traditional English/Scottish food. I love food, and enjoy trying new things. However I was a little hesitant to try the following items.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Black pudding, also known as blood sausage, is a pudding made of curdled and boiled pig blood, mixed with chunks of pork fat for texture.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Haggis - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is a dish containing sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally simmered in the animal's stomach. </span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Interestingly enough, Haggis is has been declared “unfit for human consumption” by the USDA and is outlawed in the USA.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of the two dishes, I actually not only preferred, but enjoyed and finished the Haggis. Now that I know it’s outlawed in the US, I may refrain from ordering it next time or rebel and order an extra helping. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was hesitant to try this food, but Norman encouraged me to try it, and I’m glad that I did.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Name the movie.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-73574870716007053872011-02-25T20:28:00.000-08:002011-02-25T20:48:51.838-08:00Recipe for Disaster?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQUjtJWcwiW7RFmXJ1GWLDop4Rk6ZRjQIFoRlV0agKl7zheWrBFjBvMdAoYGLdEVN9UN2DSMn9NGDVxfBmKdrj8LbMkmQqhUJoKq509EP7QkwTWYPh5aSCMoOZQJZKeeDr38_OXUDtrLZa/s1600/sausage-eggs-0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="284" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQUjtJWcwiW7RFmXJ1GWLDop4Rk6ZRjQIFoRlV0agKl7zheWrBFjBvMdAoYGLdEVN9UN2DSMn9NGDVxfBmKdrj8LbMkmQqhUJoKq509EP7QkwTWYPh5aSCMoOZQJZKeeDr38_OXUDtrLZa/s320/sausage-eggs-0.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you know me, you know I love to cook. I don’t just like to throw stuff in the oven, and call it good. I like to build, explore and create tasty food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t use recipes, I don’t measure, and lord knows, I don’t, let me rephrase that, I CAN’T do baked sugary things. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that’s a different blog topic. I have the ability to re-create something I had eaten in a restaurant or think of an idea and come up with the ingredients in my mind. I can look at a photo and bring it to life on a plate. I often even surprise myself at times. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I am going to take on a new challenge. I am going to create, and build my own food for my wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love food, and I love this man in my life, so why not? When it comes to food, I know how to handle myself, when it comes to relationships…. I’m going to need some help.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who knows... perhaps I will go into catering. </span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-82479559056156723842011-02-22T19:27:00.000-08:002011-02-22T19:27:55.338-08:00Something Blue?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh, the wedding plans have begun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My living room looks like a wedding paraphernalia explosion. It’s weird <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to walk in the door and see the mess of magazines, adorned with frilly dresses, bouffant hair doo’s and do it yourself ideas scattered <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>throughout my living room. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dare I say I am getting excited! I know when I say these next few words… I will get a lot of flack…. But, since I am “older” there I said it, I feel like I shouldn’t be as giddy or excited or nervous as I get sometimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to tell myself, to relax and let myself enjoy this time, even if I feel like I’m too old to act this way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just wish I had someone to share the planning, the ideas, and the giddiness with. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard when your soon to be other half is across the world sleeping, when I’m left day dreaming about what the big day will look like. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We have started the visa process, and now we have to do something that I am NOT very good at. Wait. It’s been 2 weeks and we haven’t heard anything, and I feel likes it’s been 2 months. The date has been set, September 3, 2011 – so let’s pray, keep fingers and toes crossed that our papers will go thru in the next 5 months. Ugh – that seems forever. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I hope the next few months fly by because I can’t wait to start my life with this guy who I never dreamed I’d meet. One, because he is nothing I wanted, but everything I didn’t know I needed. And two, because he loves me in a way I didn’t think I would find. Now I just need to figure out how not to drive him crazy! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-68709354592985206642011-01-31T15:13:00.000-08:002011-01-31T15:15:42.113-08:00Soul Soother<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is it about a good country song that tends to sooth the soul? Maybe it’s the sap, the long drawn out words, the meandering lyrics of losing life’s greatest gifts. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know what it is, but when I’m feeling down, I make a mad dash towards the boot scootin’ country music. I’ve been listening to a lot of country the past few days. It just makes sense to me right now. Perhaps, I need a good hearty</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> shoulder shaking, head pounding cry. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not country – but a brilliant song. </span></strong></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take this sinking boat and point it home<br />
We've still got time<br />
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice<br />
You'll make it now<br />
<br />
Falling slowly, eyes that know me<br />
And I can't go back<br />
Moods that take me and erase me<br />
And I'm painted black<br />
You have suffered enough<br />
And warred with yourself<br />
It's time that you won<br />
<br />
Take this sinking boat and point it home<br />
We've still got time<br />
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice<br />
<br />
You've made it now<br />
Falling slowly sing your melody<br />
I'll sing it loud</span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-21013217048326981622011-01-30T12:12:00.000-08:002011-01-30T12:12:10.870-08:00Name ChangeIt was time to change the name of my blog. Not becuase Amanda's Adventures ended, but because I want this blog to be more than just a travel blog dedicated to my adventures. Although anyone who knows me, knows that Im an adventure. :) <br />
<br />
Last year I got a tattoo on my foot " Alis Vollat Propiis" thats Latin for "She flies with her own wings" It also happens to be the Oregon State motto. I feel that my life really started when I moved to Salem Oregon when I was 15 years old. Sure, I had 14 years of living beforehand, but this is when I trully felt happy and alive, and on the path to become who I was meant to be.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-41782014948021330202010-11-03T21:16:00.001-07:002010-11-03T21:16:50.839-07:00And Then.<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I stretch out my hand and take up my pen<br />
I search my heart and soul, and then<br />
I touch my pad and begin to write<br />
I struggle with my thoughts, both day and night<br />
I strive to find that voice within<br />
The one that guides my life, and then<br />
I think of light born and shadows falling<br />
To create a world of words, a poet's calling<br />
To express with form, make the real transcend<br />
Bring still things to life, tell tales, and then<br />
With a stroke of my brush across an empty plane<br />
I offer up my life, my joy, my pain<br />
Share the eagle's flight upon the wind<br />
Sing the mournful song of whales, and then<br />
Speak of bird and bee, of hawk and dove<br />
Speak of birth and death, of truth and love<br />
Of God and man, of stars that spin<br />
Of angel's eyes, of grace and sin<br />
To give to all my now, my when<br />
In hope you'll feel my gift, and then</span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-23209668798166239662010-11-03T21:15:00.000-07:002010-11-03T21:15:16.454-07:00The Road<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Sometimes I wonder if I'm where I'm supposed to be,<br />
or if I'm who I'm supposed to be...<br />
I wonder what this life has in store for me.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I feel sure of what I want and where I'm to go,<br />
Other times I feel lost and try not to let it show.<br />
<br />
I live my life from day to day,<br />
and love everything in every single way.<br />
<br />
But sometimes at night I lay and stare,<br />
and hope for answers through answered prayers.<br />
<br />
Do I go left or should I choose right,<br />
the roads are as dark as a moonless night.<br />
<br />
I hesitate not because I am scared,<br />
and not even because I am unprepared.<br />
<br />
I sit an ponder which road to choose,<br />
simply because I don't want to loose.<br />
<br />
To make the wrong choice would be hardest to bare,<br />
or is that God's intensions...a double dare.<br />
<br />
A dare to take the road less traveled,<br />
and risk the road chosen to become unraveled.<br />
<br />
Although it may seem like the road is too slick,<br />
doesn't us taking it make it the right road to pick?<br />
<br />
So then we must wonder is there a right and wrong path,<br />
or simply 2 different ways for us to do the math.<br />
<br />
However we add it, it equals the same,<br />
but the method used to get there is what makes the game.<br />
<br />
So although I feel lost from time to time,<br />
I take great comfort in the fact that the choice is all mine.<br />
<br />
I can choose to go left, or I can choose to go right,<br />
either way in the end there's a golden light.<br />
<br />
So although we may wonder which path to choose,<br />
we must remember in life we have nothing to loose.<br />
<br />
Whichever choice we make, A or B, the one we choose is meant to be.<br />
<br />
So instead of trying to force life to fit, just let life happen and enjoy it.<br />
<br />
It's going to work at its own pace, life is a journey not a race.<br />
<br />
So sit back and enjoy this precious gift,<br />
and when the gears need changed don't hesitate to shift!<br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-82320077463697717172010-11-03T21:11:00.001-07:002010-11-03T21:11:40.239-07:00No Escape<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I want to run, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But there's no where to hide.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I want to understand, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But there is no guide.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I want to cry, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But I don't have a single tear, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I want to talk, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But there is no one to hear.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I want to scream</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But I have no voice.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I'm trapped in my thoughts, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have no choice.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-2539468553947087302010-11-03T21:10:00.001-07:002010-11-03T21:10:40.785-07:00Despair<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I watched the night descending, as feathers float and fall, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Creeping, slowly gently to wrap its velvet shawl.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The daylight shadows shrinking and fading out of sight, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The dusky grey's transforming to blackness of the night.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The silent, eerie blackness dew fervor from my breast, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It told me these cold shadows were on a deathly quest.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I crouched as I reflected, my knees beneath my chin, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This helped to keep the cold and keep me warm within.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A cringing, wretched creature, my arms tucked around my head</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A lonely hungry vagrant, I sat in servile dread.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recalling my past blunders, drink and drugs and sin, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My faults that left me friendless, rejected by my kin.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A worthless human being, when I was still quite young, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How then upon life's ladder I reached the bottom rung?</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This life that I have wasted! Why was I put on Earth?</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Is this what fate intended – right from the day of my birth?</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The darkness got much darker, my eyes, they could not see, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And my thoughts and oneness appeared to part from me.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Teardrops glazed my eyesight. I shivered, smiled then cried.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The knell of death was sounding. It rang, it called, I died.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-62638362556506774342010-11-03T21:09:00.000-07:002010-11-03T21:09:11.078-07:00Night Train<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The car is nearly silent as the train rolls gently on;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The sunsets long behind you, and there's hours yet to dawn.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The gentle rock and sway become the rhythm of your mind, </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A numbing repetition that will lead you to unwind.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You watch the darkened land go by, silent in the dull</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And eerie light that glimmers as the moon is waxing full.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">From somewhere in the darkness</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Comes the whistle's lonely wail- </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The haunting, stirring echo that's the voice of the rail.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The words begin to gather and you take in hand your pen</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And smile a little, knowing that it's happening again.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For nothing in creation will compel a soul to write</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.4pt; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Like staring out the window of a moving train at night</span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-1668910317136158782010-11-03T21:04:00.001-07:002010-11-03T21:04:35.452-07:00Tomorrow<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Tomorrow is the day in which you fulfill all your dreams, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Accomplish and attain that which you have yet seen.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Still, in my heart, for tomorrow true love you shall find, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Your desires will all become real, all in tomorrow's time.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Around the corner of the season, just beyond the bend. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Is the hint of the birth of Spring and the Winters end.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Its is coming soon, the day will be an end to your sorrows, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">All shall be well in the promise of everlasting tomorrows.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Tomorrow you shall go out and run around and play,</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But that is tomorrow; you don't have enough time today. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You say I don't have the time for that now, but tomorrow I may</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So you put it off for later, and convince yourself it will be fine</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Your goals will all be taken care of, all in tomorrow's time, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Until you suddenly realize, when the tomorrow has come, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today has now become yesterday, and you didn't get anything done.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So you put it off again, thinking that the next day there'll be a way</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So you never get anything achieved, because tomorrow's now today.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-18226816119201400422010-10-21T10:20:00.001-07:002010-10-21T10:20:40.228-07:00Who Say's You Can't go Home?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Wow, how things can change in a matter of days. Well, as most know by now, I have resigned from the position I accepted in Bonn Germany. Without going into details, as they are not important at this point, I will say that I am not willing to lie down and be a doormat. I am deeply hurt by this, as I was looking forward to living and working in Europe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But at the end of the day, you have to be happy right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to do what is right, no matter what anyone else thinks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know there are several people who think I am foolish, a complete idiot, and perhaps don’t agree with my choices. My comment to them is to let me live my life, and you live yours. I don’t always make the choices others would have made, and sometimes that leads me the long way around, and sometimes I get lucky and find a short cut. But at the end of the day, it’s my life, and I stand by my decisions. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My adventure surely doesn’t end in Europe. It’s just beginning, just down a different path. I have had a wonderful 52 days of living, working, and touring around Europe. I have had the pleasure of visiting the Following countries: Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, France, England and Scotland. I’ve been able to bring back so many memories from each of these places, and truly loved each country for different reasons. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I discovered a lot about myself in each of those places, the good the bad, even the really ugly parts of myself. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, and I have been really angry and confused, but I’ve learned how to adapt, let go and move on. Its funny how being angry is easier than letting it go. I’ve always felt that if I let something go, I was giving in, and as stubborn as I am, I couldn’t ever give in. I think it’s a family trait I have inherited as us Koop’s are quite stubborn people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve also met a friend along the way. Someone who accepts me just the way I am, stubborn, moody, bossy, and at times a serious bitch. Sometimes I don’t understand why he sticks around, but he does, and I am very grateful for him. He has definitely taught me, or more so made me learn about patience and slowing down a bit. I was able to meet his family on my trip, and think they are a wonderful bunch of people. I was nervous, and a bit apprehensive, but it was long overdue. Meeting someone’s family, gives you a better insight to someone I think. I can honestly say, the little things that I didn’t understand before, are a little clearer now, and that is very good. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am in Seattle now, back to work and trying to wrap my head around living in Seattle again. I am on the hunt looking for a place to live, a car, and a new way of life. I told myself, if I came back to Seattle, things would be different, as I am different. I know 52 days isn’t very long, but I’ve changed since I left, and even though, I am back to my old job, and city, I don’t have to go backwards in my life. I have already made some changes, and will continue doing so. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So even though, my living abroad came to an abrupt end, my adventure doesn’t end there. Stay tuned, as I will continue to write, it just may be about different things. </span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-48106192933921905912010-10-07T00:46:00.001-07:002010-10-07T00:46:58.748-07:00Space.<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before I left the US, everyone asked me what I was going to miss. As I thought about this, my thoughts, were:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>obviously my friends and pets, but perhaps my language, my car, my sense of knowing where I was, and where I needed to go, and HOW to get there, ingredients that make up my favorite food, American food period. But after being in Switzerland for a month now, I have come to realize that yes I miss everything I listed, but what I really miss right now is space. Space to spread out my clothes, space in the bathroom, space to make a mess in the kitchen, space in the office, space to have a personal phone call, space to be by myself, space to think, space to breathe. I haven’t had the opportunity to sit and be alone, and ponder what the hell I am doing. It’s nice having people around, but it’s also nice to be able to escape and retreat when you need to re-charge, relax, think about what you really want, and what you have done. It’s been hard to sit and think about my thoughts, and then get them onto paper. This has never been a problem for me, as I love to write and get my thoughts out. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What is wrong with me? I need some space. Back home, this was never a problem. Yes, I lived with 2 roommates, of whom I miss every day, but they gave me space. My house was large, and beautiful, and very spacious. I had a kitchen that was large enough for 20 people, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a closet so large, I couldn’t dream of filling it. I worked in an office full of people, but I had my own space within that office. And, even with all this space, when it just wasn’t enough, I had a friends cabin that I could retreat to, anytime I wanted. These are the times, my thoughts and feelings flowed freely. I was in a place where I could sit, think, relax, hike, eat, laugh, write, and above all else, breathe! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I miss walking around the mountain valley, feeling very small, pondering life. Searching for fossil rocks, blazing trails thru the forest, and early morning walks before the sun rises, the dew is still on every leaf, and the world is quite. I miss this, terribly. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve never been a person who depends on others, quite the contrary, I’ve grown up thinking I couldn’t count on anyone. I know that is not true, but still a battle I deal with from time to time. The past month, I have relied too much on my “friend” who has been with me. I don’t want to be alone, but at the same time I NEED to be alone. So, what happens? It’s simple, I need to be alone, which is easier said than done. Before I came here, I had ideas of what I was going to do, and where I was headed, and when I think back on that, I was alone. I need to be alone, for now. This is my life, and I have to be selfish and think about myself until I get to a point where I feel comfortable with myself. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-83200550722280581522010-09-26T01:10:00.000-07:002010-09-26T01:17:05.059-07:00Dark Cloud<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">It’s been a few weeks, a few cities, and few countries since I last wrote. I was not feeling very wordy lately, and am now just starting to feel that I that I have something to write about. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">I should first start off with, that my intentions of writing this blog are not only for my travel experiences but also to share my journey over the next few years and something I can look back on and remember. It may not come in a form of a pretty little package with good warm fuzzy travel stories, but rather it may come out in the real Raw Amanda form as many of you know me to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that this blog is seen by a lot of people who do not know me very well, and I may over share at times, I may say things that don’t make sense, I may even shock a few of you, but hey, that’s me, Amanda. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">I love to write, but like I said it doesn’t always come out in the best way. When I was packing up from Seattle, I came across a few poems I wrote, yes I write poetry too. As I was reading them, they were dark, sad, tortured, and to say the least a bit depressing. Upon closer look at the date, and reminiscing with my good friend about what was going on in my life during that time, I wasn’t a sad, going thru a tough time, or even depressed, quite the contrary. It was a time where I was happy, and things were really going good for me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes my feelings come out and even I don’t know where they are coming from, so keep that in mind as you read through my thoughts, poems and these blogs. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">A friend, who lives in Europe, has been with me since I arrived in Amsterdam, so that I would not be alone during this difficult time of transition. While at times I have been glad to have someone around, I also wonder what I would have done, or be doing should I be alone. I like things just so, and it makes it difficult when you have to think of another person. I am grateful for him though, and know that I would never have done some of the things I have done thus far. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">So, moving on, I am at the moment in a hotel in Bonn Germany. I have been here for 4 days so far, and leave in two. I have been looking for a place to live come November. I have a relocation agent who has been helping me meander thru the task of searching, and after 3 days of looking, I have found NOTHING. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were a few cute places, but either was too small, too far away, or just too expensive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have 2 months of temporarily housing once I move here, but really wanted to get settled, move in, and have my pets shipped over the beginning of November. It doesn’t look like any of that will happen, and while that makes me sad, it also allows me to find a place that I truly love, and that is good. I want a little piece of paradise when I come home. I know that may sound crazy and not realistic, but I don’t know how to settle for anything less. What I want is a nice little house or apartment with my own private garden, 2 rooms, a living room, a bathroom and a kitchen I can move around in, oh yeah, within 15 minutes of the office too. That’s not too much to ask for is it? The hunt goes on.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really like it here, more so than Basel, Switzerland. In fact, I haven’t enjoyed my time in Basel at all. The country is nice enough but WAY too expensive. I’ve had a rough time adjusting to my surroundings, and I just feel like a dark cloud is following me around there. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The apartment I am staying in, is cramped, filled with the smell of smoke, and as far as amenities, there are random kitchen utensils, and at most, I get 2 of each, plate, glass, and silverware. I have a landlord that comes into the apartment whenever he feels like, even while I’m there WITHOUT knocking, and a 100 year old cleaning lady that speaks the fastest Italian I have ever heard. Even if I was fluent in Italian, I don’t think I’d be able to understand her. The office is less than a 5 minute walk away, which is nice. Without going into details about the office life here, let’s just say, I am not in Kansas anymore!!!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">A few weeks ago, I did have the chance to travel a few hours up into the Swiss Alps to a small village called Lauderbrunnen, which was simply quite amazing. It was good to get out of the city and get into some nature. When looking into the forest, it’s a lot like Washington or even parts of Alaska. We stayed in a cute little chalet that overlooked the town, which was surrounded by sheer rock mountains, and waterfalls everywhere you looked. The air, was crisp, the grass a vibrant almost florescent, green, and in the distance you hear clanging bells from the sheep that graze the entire country side. A thought that kept coming to mind… More Cow Bell??? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">During our stay in Lauderbrunnen, we went up to the third highest peak in the Bernese Alps, Jungfrau Mountain. Talk about amazing. It was a bit cloudy, but the views were awe inspiring, the snow was refreshing, yet freezing cold, and the air was very thin. While at the top, we did some hiking around, inner-tubed down the mountain, and I even built my very first snowman of the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For eyes, I used some euro coins, a nose, a penny, and for arms I broke an emery board in half, and he came to life. He was so cute. I decided that after our photo shoot, to leave him behind so that all others could enjoy him as well. The best part came about 10 feet away when some other travelers started lying in the snow to take pictures with him. It was awesome! My little snowman, created, and situated <span style="color: black;">13,642 ft above the world will be in photos that will travel the globe, talk about world traveler that little guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even got some photos, of the people posing with him. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">While on the mountain, we walked thru an under-mountain, manmade ice sculpture cave which was pretty interesting; all that was missing were some ice skates. The ice carvings were amateur, and simple but still fun to look at, and being sandwiched between two large slabs of ice was pretty cool to say the least. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the chilly experience and a million photos later, we descended in our little tram that took us back to Lauderbrunnen. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">If you know me, you know that I LOVE coffee, so it was important to find a place once we got there. Lucky for us, or for my friend, there was one directly across from our chalet. To our surprise, it was run by Australians, which just so happen to speak English. The café reminded me of a place back in Kodiak, called Mill Bay Coffee. The staff and other coffee goers were friendly, the food was delicious and the cappuccinos were delightful. I have come to appreciate hot coffee since moving to Europe, as the Europeans don’t like ice very much for some reason. The food in Switzerland is overpriced, and really nothing to write home about. Most of our meals have been prepared at the apartment (I refuse to call it home) and very rarely we eat out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I make it sound awful, and while it is for me, it could be, and is a very happy place for many people. I am not good at standing still, and I want to start my life in Germany. I feel like I am on hold, and I don’t do well, on hold. I have made a mental note for when I get back to try and enjoy the last 4 weeks of my living there. Take things as they come and relish in the notion that I won’t have to live there ever again. Visit often, yes, but nothing compared to living.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">Back to where I am at now. Bonn. As I said, I really like it here. I feel like this is a place I could stay for awhile. Everyone has dogs here, there are lots of parks, and everyone I have met thinks my accent is charming. I’ve even had one lady tell me, I speak very good English for being an American. I wonder who in the world she has she been talking to? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have lain pretty low and haven’t done a lot of tourist things upon arriving here, as I will have plenty of time in the next year to do things, but today I think we are going to take a boat trip up the Rhine River. It’s a bit grey today, but as they say in Seattle, if you wait for the rain to stop, you will be waiting forever! So… Off we go to play in the rain, on the Rhine.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">Things I’ve learned:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";">I am not good at following someone who doesn’t want to wait for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life is what you make it, but sometimes life is just shit, and every now and then I think everyone needs to experience that. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2698233720848336106.post-22854654003195160232010-08-29T22:56:00.000-07:002010-08-29T23:46:28.310-07:00Welcome to BrusselsAugust 29, 2010<br />
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I have arrived in Brussels, Belgium without any delays along the way. My flight over was amazing. I was asleep before the plane took off from Seattle, WA and woke up shortly before landing in New York. I guess it pays to only have a few hours of restless sleep the night before. I had a 3 hour layover, and seriously thought about hopping a train to the city, but decided against it. So I took a seat next to a window and started reading some literature, you know the good stuff, Us Weekly, People, Glamour, when a lady about my age sat next to me. We started chit chatting and about where we were headed and why, turns out she was going to travel around Europe by herself. She had planned a trip like this every year for 5 straight years with an ex husband, friends, when something always came up on their ends forcing her to not go. A few years ago, she read a little book you may have heard of, called Eat, Pray, Love. Way before the movie came out she decided that she was going to take this trip by herself. She reminded me of my dear friend Katie, and people like that inspire me, and still inspire me to get out and see the world. If they can do it, I CAN DO IT!<br />
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Anyways, I flew Jet Airways India, and I can’t rave enough about this airline. So, when you all come to visit me, look into this airline. WOW, is all I can say, talk about Luxury, even for the coach folks. That airline is first class all the way! I was so busy in my seat I didn’t have a chance to sleep at all on the 8 hour flight. Each seat had its own television, which had over 100 movies, music, games, history, sports, news, anything you could want to keep yourself occupied, was right there. It even had a function to IM another guest in the airplane, so Kim, the gal I met chit chatted more during our flight. Simply the best experience I’ve ever had on a plane, with one exception of flying first class to Mexico with my best friend. <br />
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I arrived in Brussels, Belgium a half hour early, and cruised right on thru customs to baggage claim. After getting 2 suitcases, and waiting for a 3rd, I saw my name being waived around on placard; it was my driver looking for me. He helped me with my HEAVY luggage and whisked me off to my hotel Novotel, which incidentally in the middle of Brussels city center. Check in was a breeze and after wrestling with my suitcases, I made it to my room. After a hot shower I decided to take a little nap before I went out exploring. My little nap turned out to be a 10 hour nap. Ooops. So much for getting out and exploring, which was okay, since everything is pretty much closed down on Sundays. <br />
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I was up this morning at about 330 bright eyed and ready to see the world, however it was still very dark outside. I waited till about 530 and decided to take a walk around. These are the very first photos I have taken since being here, more will come. <br />
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The hotel I am staying in has a buffet breakfast every morning and boy oh boy, it’s delicious! I forgot how wonderful the food is here, this time around is a bit different though, being I can only take a bite of each delicious thing before I am full. I had memories of when I was 16 years old, in the Czech Republic, flying back to me, when I took a bite of fresh French bread with brie cheese spread, a fresh tomato and crisp cucumber piled on top, I knew I was in Europe. It’s Good to be here. I am truly blessed with this opportunity, and can’t wait to share all my experiences and thoughts with you guys. Well, I am off to meet with my new people at the office. <br />
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Some random observations:<br />
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Europeans don’t wear flip flops, sure they wear sandals, but not your typical flip flop. Umbrellas to Europeans are like small dogs to American’s, you carry them EVERYWHERE. <br />
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I know I will have more, so stay tuned.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15694805653278410105noreply@blogger.com2