There are only two people in this world who melt me when I look at them.
My daughter Nicole Rosabella is one of them.
Maybe it’s her dimpled cheeks when she smiles. Or her starry
eyes. Or the inquisitive old soul she has. Then again, it could be what I know
about Nicole that isn’t readily apparent to others. Like how kind,
tender-hearted, and compassionate she is. How she knows what to say to a friend
who’s been hurt or make them feel special. How she asks questions or makes
remarks that grab me and makes me think, “Wow, that’s really wise.”
Clearly, there are many qualities that I admire and love
about my girl. But if I had to pick a favorite, it would be her profound
inquisitive nature to ask questions. Profound, curious, interesting questions.
It doesn’t take much to make Nicole happy. It really is the
simple things – like playing a board game, back scratches, a dance party or
riding her bike that really makes her smile.
I want her to keep that light. I want her confidence and
self-esteem to last for years to come. Where Nicole is now, the sweet spot
before adolescence. As I think about
what typically happens to girls in adolescence – I want to hug my baby tight,
reaffirm who she is, and point her to the truth.
Nicole: these are 10 things I want you to remember.
- It's okay to grow up at your own pace.
It’s good to take your time and do what’s right for you. I’ve always told you;
your job is to be a kid! Our world pushes girls to the fast track. It wants you
to paint your face with makeup, dress in revealing clothes, and aim to look 20
when you’re really 13. I hope you trust your instincts and remember that the
best part of your appearance – the one that ultimately sets you apart – is the
light that shines from within. It costs nothing, yet it’s worth everything.
- Being a leader sometimes means standing
alone. It means making a brave choice nobody else is making, like sticking
up for the kid being teased, or avoiding a party where there’s sure to be
trouble. It means, never following other’s choices, but choose for yourself.
- Nothing ruins a friendship faster than
jealousy and competition. When you’re jealous of a friend or secretly
trying to one-up her. Remember that what’s good for your friend is good for you
as well because you’re both on the same team.
- Feeling different is completely normal.
We all feel different because we are different. You are one of a kind, there is
only ONE of you! Rather than wish to be like everyone else, look for ways in
which you can make your gifts and talents shine bright.
- Every choice has a consequence, and the
choices you make today impact the opportunities you’ll have tomorrow. While
making positive choices (like working hard in school) will open doors down the
road, making negative choices (like lying, cheating, stealing) will close
doors. Whatever choices you make, be prepared to live with them.
- Be kind to everyone but remember not everyone
needs to be your friend. Trust your instincts when you feel like its time to
stop being friends with someone. Friends will come and go, and it’s okay to let
go if they are making unwise choices.
- The best way to build confidence is to challenge
yourself and accomplish a goal outside your comfort zone that forces you to
stretch, grow, and master new skills. Don’t give up if you don’t conquer it at
first. Keep trying, the best things in life are not easy.
- Be a good sister. Be a good role model. She is watching your
every move. Be someone she can count on to always have her back, be there for
her when she needs to cry, scream, and laugh, encourage her, and above all tell
her what she means you and tell her you love her often. Remember she is your
number one bestie in the entire world.
- Be a good listener in all of life.
You will learn new things by listening, watching, and observing. You don’t always
have to have an answer, most times you won’t, just listen.
- Tomorrow is a new day. Growing up is hard. People are not always nice, and sometimes your big feelings will seem too big. Remember, tomorrow is a brand-new day to start over, to learn, to change, and to make it better. You will also have amazing days, filled with laughter, joy, and incredible memories.
Most of all, Nicole Rosabella, I hope you always remember
how unconditionally loved you are. Know that I’m always here. Whatever is
waiting on the other side of 10, we’ll discover it together. We’ll celebrate,
cry, and share in all the emotions that evolve as a you grow up.
Happy 10th birthday, my baby love, and thank you for your
light. You’re a joy to know and a joy to raise, a sweet blessing in my life for
which I’m so very, very grateful. I love you, Momma.