Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Last Four Months

The last four months have been a whirlwind of experiences, firsts, extreme emotions and a daily reminder of what I was meant to do with my life.

The last four months, I have learned to function on very little sleep, waking up at odd hours to care for a little life that requires more than a half an eyelid open.

I have learned to enjoy cold food, quick showers, air dried hair, sitting in one spot for hours whilst watching little eyes flutter and a little mouth phantom suck.

In the past four months I have watched my husband with our baby girl, I see how much he loves her, how he adores her, tends to her, doesn't complain when she needs a diaper change, or when I need a nap, or when I want a few hours out to shop or hang out with my girlfriends. Its been difficult at times, but over the past four months I have fallen more in love with him.

I have learned that I am “that” parent that has to buy everything for her little girl. If I think it will enrich her life, teach her new things, keep her quite for even a short period of time, I buy it.

The past four months have made me question my own childhood. A mothers love is unshakable. Undeniable. Unbreakable. Forever. I am certain that my mother loved me.

I've realized that when I am shopping and baby girl is at home with daddy, I am fiercely jealous of the soon to be moms, or moms with their kids in tow. When I am shopping with baby girl, I feel sorry for all the other parents, because I've been blessed with the best kid in the world.

In the last four months I have noticed that I miss my family more than I ever have in my life.

I have found that I am quick to get frustrated with my husband, but baby girl can instantly calm me.

I have found that the weight I put on during the past nine months is a lot harder to lose than I thought it would be. I need to remember, I cooked up a human life, and it will take time to get back to where I was.

During the past four months, I live for the evenings when its bedtime for baby girl. Its just me and her in a dimmed room, eyes locked, secrets told, heart beats synced we are one once again, even if just for a few minutes.

In the past four months I have cried more than I have in the past four years.

I have come to realize that nothing is as important as my family is. My husband and baby girl, are my world. Life is nothing without them.


  1. This is so beautiful, Amanda! I am so ecstatically joyful for you!

  2. You are lovely in every possible way. This joy is only beginning...hang on sweetheart, you're going to fly!