The last four months, I have learned to
function on very little sleep, waking up at odd hours to care for a
little life that requires more than a half an eyelid open.
I have learned to enjoy cold food,
quick showers, air dried hair, sitting in one spot for hours whilst
watching little eyes flutter and a little mouth phantom suck.
In the past four months I have watched
my husband with our baby girl, I see how much he loves her, how he
adores her, tends to her, doesn't complain when she needs a diaper
change, or when I need a nap, or when I want a few hours out to shop
or hang out with my girlfriends. Its been difficult at times, but
over the past four months I have fallen more in love with him.
I have learned that I am “that”
parent that has to buy everything for her little girl. If I think it
will enrich her life, teach her new things, keep her quite for even a
short period of time, I buy it.
The past four months have made me
question my own childhood. A mothers love is unshakable. Undeniable.
Unbreakable. Forever. I am certain that my mother loved me.
I've realized that when I am shopping
and baby girl is at home with daddy, I am fiercely jealous of the
soon to be moms, or moms with their kids in tow. When I am shopping
with baby girl, I feel sorry for all the other parents, because I've
been blessed with the best kid in the world.
In the last four months I have noticed
that I miss my family more than I ever have in my life.
I have found that I am quick to get
frustrated with my husband, but baby girl can instantly calm me.
I have found that the weight I put on
during the past nine months is a lot harder to lose than I thought it
would be. I need to remember, I cooked up a human life, and it will
take time to get back to where I was.
During the past four months, I live for
the evenings when its bedtime for baby girl. Its just me and her in a
dimmed room, eyes locked, secrets told, heart beats synced we are one
once again, even if just for a few minutes.
In the past four months I have cried
more than I have in the past four years.
I have come to realize that nothing is
as important as my family is. My husband and baby girl, are my world.
Life is nothing without them.
This is so beautiful, Amanda! I am so ecstatically joyful for you!
ReplyDeleteYou are lovely in every possible way. This joy is only beginning...hang on sweetheart, you're going to fly!
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